Mitt Romney has won the Washington state Republican caucuses.

The “Occupy movement” has devolved into Hipsters of the Flies — dens of crime, squalor and internecine power struggles. Democrats, from Pres. Obama on down, try to rhetorically distance themselves from the protest themselves.

A Toronto zoo has defended the breaking up of gay penguins, Buddy and Pedro, citing endangered species protection. The two penguin lovers will be forced to go hetero to preserve the species.

With the Girl Scouts recently caving to the wishes of a seven-year-old boy and his mother by allowing him to join a local troop of girls, a spokesperson for a Christian women’s organization is questioning the role of the child’s parents.

This woman’s record is a bit of a mouthful — she’s got the longest tongue in the world.